tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-76457366520288871182012-02-16T10:48:54.633-05:00Trying to find my way without my life mate and best friend.Karen Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01202487119319647839noreply@blogger.comBlogger61100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7645736652028887118.post-79751166198325695972011-12-09T16:42:00.000-05:002011-12-09T16:42:16.397-05:00

That's how I feel right now. I want to write about certain things for this blog and my others, but I start something and have to stop, unable to go on. I still have conversations and messages to copy and save from J, but can't. Even seeing his name, thinking it causes me to cry so hard I can't see, can't think. This last week has been just about as rough as the first week after he died. I let the

Karen Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01202487119319647839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7645736652028887118.post-33378638771612219392011-12-04T16:50:00.000-05:002011-12-04T16:50:22.224-05:00

Cemetery Fog; jackaroe; sxc.hu  "Like the mighty oak that watches over those who went before us, we see a ray of sunshine when we need it most. We see a glimmer of hope when we feel ours is gone." ~ Karen Bishop I've had an...eventful life to say the least. Most of it I wish I could forget. The events weren't something I'd wish on my worst enemy. What has this got to do with grief? I've

Karen Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01202487119319647839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7645736652028887118.post-43833009642830501032011-12-02T17:55:00.000-05:002011-12-02T17:55:46.242-05:00

The moment I decided to take my pain and grief into the public eye, I made a promise to myself and to the unknown people who might read it. The promise was this: No matter what my thoughts are, what words it takes to express myself, wherever the journey through this darkness may go, I won't sugarcoat how I feel or think. I accept nothing less than total honesty, even if it's raw, painful,

Karen Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01202487119319647839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7645736652028887118.post-36995670907924108822011-11-29T13:31:00.000-05:002011-11-29T13:31:40.188-05:00

Maybe I should've started with how we met, given you our story first. That would make sense, to begin at the beginning, then move the story along into his death and my grief. It seems grief needed to have its say first, to be purged before allowing me to go back in time and fill in the details. Grief will have its say some more, but now, it's time for J and me. I choose the word "interrupted" or

Karen Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01202487119319647839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7645736652028887118.post-14507989702188608442011-11-28T14:35:00.000-05:002011-11-28T14:35:39.065-05:00

"Grief is a tidal wave that over takes you, smashes down upon you with unimaginable force, sweeps you up into its darkness, where you tumble and crash against unidentifiable surfaces, only to be thrown out on an unknown beach, bruised, reshaped...Grief will make a new person out of you, if it doesn't kill you in the making."- Stephanie Ericsson I came across this quote and as I read the words my

Karen Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01202487119319647839noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7645736652028887118.post-20867173742296626522011-11-27T16:25:00.000-05:002011-11-27T16:25:35.555-05:00

On Wednesday, November 2, 2011, my world changed forever. The landscape around me is no longer filled with beauty and light, it's bleak and dark. There is no joy, no laughter. There's an emptiness inside of me, a huge hole where my heart used to be. I feel incomplete. I've become half a person, missing a vital piece of myself. There is so much pain. Deep wounds carved by grief and the scalding

Karen Bhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01202487119319647839noreply@blogger.com0